Saturday 2 April 2011

Along came a spider...

I was given a topic. And so here it is. Spiders are creepy. They are ugly and they have 8 legs. Anything with more than 4 legs is just showing off. Heck, I think even four legs is sometimes two too many. 
But the worst kind of spiders are the big, fat, hairy-legged kind. Why does the fact that you can see it's hairy legs make it more creepy? Imagine these same legs, minus the hair - suddenly, not so gross.
And so I move on to the actual issue here, which is not spiders - it's hairy legs. Take a gorgeous woman, add hairy legs and BAM! Nobody wants to tap that... 


Case in point... Hmmm, she's pretty bone-worthy, right?

Iryna Shayk looking fine


Wait a second....
Iryna Shayk's hairy legs

Imagine having those pins wrapped around your waist. (Not that I have D-list celebrities wrapping their legs around my waist...just sayin') OH, and this girl has freakishly light coloured leg hair. I feel I should also dispel the crazy rumours that women are happy to shave their legs.
Ads like these are designed to make is seem like an enjoyable task, whilst also promoting the unfair ideal that smooth legs = sexy:

And so here I am on a gorgeous Sunday contemplating my options. I have come up with these three thus far:
1. Shave my legs - get laid tonight
2. Embrace my inner hairy spider, lie on my (king) bed and read a trashy book - don't get laid tonight.
3. Embrace inner hairy spider, lie on aforementioned bed with my laptop and a glass of wine (it's almost 1:30pm...) - get laid tonight if I share my wine.

I'm leaning towards option 2, as I'm not one for sharing. Oh, and thank God I only have 2 legs... no wonder spiders don't shave....
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4 comments:

  1. MissMuffet18:17

    I'd just like to add that I F#*KING covet those shoes like no other...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Miss Hollie18:37

    covet those shoes???

    And yes, hairy legs are horrid... But you're married... I'd have given up about a year in! haha... Just wait til you get pregnant!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MissMuffet18:42

    " But you're married... I'd have given up about a year in"

    It's because of this widely accepted mentality that I made the decision to try my best to keep on top of it, for good. Because I've seen women who are frumpy, hairy housewives and it's not a look I wanna achieve (if not for anything else but the sake of my sex life)!

    ReplyDelete
  4. MissMuffet18:44

    source: Dictionary.com:

    cov·et   
    [kuhv-it]
    –verb (used with object)
    1.to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others: to covet another's property.

    2.to wish for, especially eagerly: He won the prize they all coveted.
    –verb (used without object)

    3.to have an inordinate or wrongful desire.

    ReplyDelete

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